2 months, 4 countries, 8 flights, and 16 time zone differences later, I realise I’m exactly where I need to be right now.
This is probably the most intensely I’ve ever travelled in my life. 2 months, 4 countries, 8 flights, 16 time zone differences. After an Indian wedding and excursion, and 3 work trips in LA, Madrid and Seoul, I felt really lucky and grateful for the opportunities. Even though I had certain expectations about what I was about to learn and experience on these trips, they exceeded my expectations and somehow connected with my current journey on work, relationships and self.
Work
Not gonna lie. It has been an intense first quarter. I sometimes don’t realize how a month passed by so quickly and we’re 3 weeks away from halfway through 2024. It’s exciting to have more projects coming in our team but with the same manpower, it makes everyone busier. With these work trips, we’re literally working around the clock to make sure everything runs smoothly. It’s intense. It’s fun. It’s nerve-wracking. It’s exciting.
Since end of last year, I sort of found a new peace with my work. A good conversation with my boss made me realise that I’m working not only for the company's ambition, career progression, and project objectives but also for myself. At the end of the day, regardless of whether I get a promotion or a bonus, it’s more important to keep growing, learning and adding new experiences to my own portfolio.
With trips to India, LA and Seoul, it made me realized how lucky I am to be working in a country to have great work-life balance and labour regulations to prevent overwork. However, at the same time, it also made me realise how much more hard work people put in to strive for the life they want for themselves or even for the next generation. Even though I could just stay in my comfort zone, it’s still up to me how much I’d like to work and shape the career path I’m on. It’s part of my job and responsibility to balance the stress and demands of work and my personal physical and mental health. Thinking about the future, it’s a good reminder about the benefits in working in Germany before considering moving to work in a different country. It’s crucial to think about what values are more important to me and what’s more important in the next phase of my life and career.
No answer in sight but a new perspective found.
Relationship
I attended my first wedding as an adult in India. That just set the bar so high that I’m sure if I’m ever gonna experience anything above it. It was a three-day celebration about love, family and traditions. The moment my friend, the bride, stepped on the aisle, my tears started to drop. It was happy tears. I’m so happy for her and thinking of how they found each other, moved to Germany together and went through all the hurdles to get to this day, it’s such a beautiful thing to witness.
I’ve been talking to my therapist about a few things in relationships. Even though I’m still single my whole life, I wanted to break down some obstacles and thoughts that always come up in my mind when it comes to relationships.
We talked about types. It’s normal to have types but we shouldn’t let them become stereotypes. It was a journey and a great conversation with my therapist to trace the reasons why I feel I have a certain type and how that has affected my romantic life. The trip to India and Seoul immersed me in a new environment with different aesthetics and look after being in the Western culture and beauty standard for the past few years. I realized I was too fixated on a certain type and forgot there’s more beauty in the world
Then, it was also great learning to break down those types and think about more than the physical attractions but also the values and characteristics I’m looking for in a future partner. She called it: a wish into the universe and some called it a check-list. I really felt I’ve broaden my search and having a clearer idea of who I’d like to find as a future partner.
Coincidentally, during my trip to Seoul, I met a guy. Not a love-at-first-sight but after we have a deeper conversation, he almost ticked every box on the list. I felt struck by how things connect and he comes out of nowhere fitting these criteria. However, there are also a few things I don’t think we could work through. At least not now when we just met in a foreign city with no future dates insight.
We said goodbye but I found peace.
Self
It’s been about 7 months since I started therapy. We started with anxiety and body dysmorphia, moved on to relationship, then onto substances and recently circled back to my body and self again. With every trip I’ve been on, we had the opportunity to catch up before and set a certain goal or homework and then recap after I returned from the trips. All the above learnings about work and relationships are folded into our sessions too.
After experiencing different work cultures and meeting different people around the world, I found myself with growing self-appreciation. I start to like my body again. I start to like my face again. I start to appreciate my work again. I start to appreciate my life conditions again. It might sound cliche and of course, I still have ups and downs but I do feel things are looking better and I started to speak more positive about myself again.
Without these trips, I’d probably be handed different homework to get to this point or it might take some more time. However, I’m grateful I was able to keep my eyes open and ears wide to experience as much as I can during these trips. I can be anywhere else in the world, with the best job I could think of, with the best city to live in and still be unhappy and unsatisfied. Of course, I still have wishes and dreams of places I’d like to be, jobs I’d like to have, and people I’d like to meet.
But right now, I’m exactly where I need to be.
